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He gets lazy about himself, and will thereby get lazy about you.Pharaon agrees: "For men, their purpose in life is something that's critical to their overall well-being.No Ambition Guy"This is the guy who doesn't want to improve his life.He's not very motivated, he's not very accountable for his actions, he's not very accountable to anything or to anyone, especially you, and that's how it would affect you," Costa says.We all want to find a great partner, so why do so many of us end up dating not-so-good ones along the way?

"We need people to have different parts to them and to see that they honor and make time for those different parts," Pharaon says.

And it's not easy when he's pulling out all of his charms over a glass (or several glasses) of wine at a swanky local bar.

We talked to family therapist Vienna Pharaon, LMFT, and Carlen Costa, Ph.

"There's no room for you to show up because everything is about that person.

That person is not tending to your emotional needs or physical needs, any type of need you might have.

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