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Here's the problem: Frances' first-date trick works perfectly, but most of us don't to the answer we get.

Raise your hand if you ever fudged the facts in your mind because you really wanted to see things through rose-colored glasses with a promising guy [raises hand! Well, the fudging-of-facts bit carries on throughout a relationship, sometimes keeping us committed to the wrong guy for months (or years).

Among Japanese teenagers the most basic way of starting to date someone is by giving them a “kokuhaku” or love confession.

This sounds a bit creepy but it’s not so much telling someone you love them but rather the Japanese way of letting them know you like them and asking them out.

Frances is here to help us see things as they really are instead of how we want to see them.

Below, she takes us through a relationship reality check to keep your head clear at every stage of the relationship: On the first date...

Frances' first-date trick (known as her "Heartache Prevention Question") is simply to ask him, point blank, if he believes in X (X being your ultimate dream and goal, be it monogamy, marriage, having a family, or running away to join the circus).

It may seem simple, but it's incredibly effective if you're prepared to really listen to his answer."On a first date, a guy's gonna basically say, ' I don't believe in love' or ' I'll never get married,'" says Frances.

The thing that I like about typical Japanese dating custom is that “kokuhaku” (confession) makes the start of relationships more simplified.

Something fellow GP writer, Grace Buchele Mineta mentioned in her podcast interview.

In Japan, women can confess their love so it’s not strange if we ask a man out but in America, it seems that women tend to wait for men to ask them out.

I was young and naïve so it was a little scary in the beginning and I soon discovered the dating process in America is quite different from the one in Japan.

In this article, I want to talk about a few major differences I saw between Japanese and American dating cultures.

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Unlike Japan, California is a true melting pot of cultures but since I had so little dating experience back home, I was nervous about getting into the dating scene in America.

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